Leaving my evening activities my heart was somewhat heavy tonight--just realizing there are people here to help me, and take care of me when I'm in need. However, there is no one in my life who is physically and tangibly a provider currently in my life.
[note: this is not the fault of anyone in my life, it is just a season where no one is called to fulfill that role in my life in the way I hope someone, someday, will be called.] I then had to go to the store (which, when alone, especially at night, is a despised chore). HEB was closed, so I had to go to CVS--something I do about every leap year.
There I met "Mr. R". He's from here, his family lives down the street…but he's been to countries I've never been to! He hinted at tales that intrigued this well traveled heart. He had tidbits from his Easter to share that spoke into the role of parenting. He genuinely cared and was unintimidated by my history as a missionary kid who spent the majority of her life in a country he wasn't 100% sure where was located. And spoke fondly of the influence diverse cultures bring to a person's mind.
It was a very unexpected little conversation and I share my surprise in it in relation to my heavy heart to prove this point: God is faithful, by all means, to elaborately illustrate that His love abounds for you.
I'm not saying there was something deeply spiritual about my random interaction with a CVS worker, but then again…am I?
I'm saying it was deeply significant for me because I had been feeling overly independent and not desiring that and like the depth of my soul was a bit too far away for anyone to truly care about. But then boom! A random conversation about things that I can't often talk about in College Station. Demonstrating that God FULLY understands my needs--more than I do. And can meet them--BETTER than I can imagine.
Our imagination likes to deceive us into thinking we have to hold on or all will fail. In reality our grip can and often is a hinderance and our security is frequently immobilizes growth and faith. Like a child held by the Father, we are better off relaxing in trust and peace then arching our back in self-made expectation.
Psalm 36:7 & 8
How precious is Your steadfast love, O God!
The children of men take refuge and put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
They relish and feast on the abundance of Your house;
and You cause them to drink of the stream of Your pleasures.
